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A Care Givers Prayer

A Care Givers Prayer

A Caregiver’s Prayer
By Cherise Selley

Oh Lord…
Forgive me when I try to carry what is not mine.
Each soul has their own cross to bear,
Their own journey with You through suffering into life.

I cannot take their cross upon myself.
Only Christ can carry it all.
When the weight feels too heavy,
When their pain presses into my heart,
I lay it down at Your feet.

This is too much for me-
But never too much for You.
In Jesus’ name,
Put the cross between me and what is not mine to carry.

Help them with their cross, Lord.
Help me with mine.
Their confusion, their sadness, their anxiety,
Belong to them.
Still, they spill over onto me.
Remind me, Lord, I cannot take them.
I can love, but I cannot save.

Thank you for other helpers, Lord,
to surround them with care.
Do not leave them in their pit-be with them.
Do not leave me in mine.
There are paths they must walk without me.
And paths I must walk without them.
Teach me not to confuse the roles.

Teach me to release what You never asked me to hold.
Help me to smile again.
To see life in the midst of disease.
To find Your presence even in the shadows.

Give me strength to carry only the cross You give me,
And no other.
Let me rest in You, Lord.
Grant me the gift of deep sleep in Your presence,
That I may rise renewed to love again tomorrow.
Amen.
Matthew 11:28-30 (TPT)
“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.”

Diagnosing Dementia

Diagnosing Dementia

DIAGNOSING DEMENTIA

 

Importance Of A Diagnosis.  It is important to have a professional diagnosis of dementia for the following reasons:

-To eliminate and/or treat other medical problems–for example, a brain tumor, chemical     imbalance, thyroid issues, etc.  Even a urinary tract infection or dehydration in older    people can present similar cognitive symptoms.

-To enable the patient to make plans for the future including legal and financial matters     and care options.

-To benefit from available treatments.

-To allow the patient to develop a support team of family and health care professionals.

-To enable the person to live the best quality of life possible while they are able to do so

 

Obtaining A Diagnosis:   A diagnosis of dementia must be made by  medical professionals.  The evaluations should include:

 

-A physical exam.  This will include questions regarding diet, lifestyle, exercise, and use of alcohol or tobacco.  It should include a check of your blood pressure, temperature, and pulse.  The doctor will listen to your heart and lungs and perform other procedures as needed.  Blood and urine samples will be collected for testing.   A medical history will be done, including a review of your current and past illnesses and questions regarding the health of family members and whether they may have had dementia.

 

-Mental status tests. During a mental status exam, a health professional asks a patient a series of questions designed to test a range of everyday mental skills.  The outcome is compared to a scale which rates scores from normal functioning, to mild, moderate, or severe dementia.

 

-A neurological exam.  The doctor will evaluate the patient for problems that might include brain disorders other than Alzheimer’s, including stroke, Parkinson’s disease, brain tumors, or fluid accumulation on the brain, or other conditions that affect memory.  The doctor will check your eye movement, speech, coordination, muscle tone and strength, and physical sensations.

 

-Brain imaging.  A standard assessment for dementia often includes brain imaging such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and/or computed tomography (CT).  These tests can also rule out other problems, such a brain tumor, etc.

Choosing a Care Facility

Choosing a Care Facility

A care facility is needed when a person can no longer care for themselves and/or the caregiver can no longer provide the level of care required. Care facilities may include assisted living, a skilled nursing home, or a dementia care unit. Here is a checklist to help evaluate care facilities.

-Cost. Check the costs and determine what is covered by private insurance or public health programs. You must select a facility that is certified by these programs if you are to receive benefits.

-Location. Choose a facility that is close to those who will visit the patient often and/or are responsible for their care.

-Needs. Find a facility that meets special needs if the patient needs care for other medical conditions.

-References. Friends, relatives, local clergy, senior groups, social workers, and the local Alzheimer’s Association are helpful in finding and evaluating facilities.

-Licensing. Check the professional licensing of the facility.

-Rating. Some are rated on the Internet, others with governmental agencies.

-Personal visit. This is most important.
-Ask to see the entire facility.
-Note how residents interact with the staff.
-Visit at different times of the day and different days of the week, including meal times.
-Ask to see a menu.
-Are snacks available between meals?
-Do they do personal laundry for residents? Is this an additional cost?
-Ask about room availability.
-Are families encouraged to be involved in a person’s care?
-Is the staff trained in dementia care?
-What training does the staff receive?
-Is medical aid available at all times, i.e., doctors and nurses on the premises?
-What is the ratio of patients to staff?
-What activities are offered?
-Is transportation provided for medical appointment and/or shopping for personal items?
-Are physical, occupational, and speech therapies offered?
-Are religious services available?
-Are holiday celebrations observed?
-Is the facility free of unpleasant odors?
-Are areas safe, secure, and monitored?
-Is the facility easy to navigate?
-What is the condition of resident rooms?
-What is the condition of the common rooms: Reception, dining room, activity rooms?
-Can residents bring familiar items with them, i.e., photos, blankets, books etc.
-What is the noise level?
-Are pets or visits by pets allowed?
-As the person’s needs change, what care is available? For example, a person may start with assisted living and later need a memory care unit.
-Do they provide an escort to the emergency room if a visit is required?
-Do they have end-of-life services such as Hospice care?

What Can the Church Community Do?

What Can the Church Community Do?

THE CHURCH COMMUNITY

 

There is sometimes a sense of abandonment that dementia patients experience, especially if they do not have understanding and support from their church family.  Here are some suggestions for ministering to dementia patients and their caregivers in your congregation.

-Educate staff on the common forms of dementia.  See the “” under Practical Resources on this website.

-Educate staff on the stages of dementia.  See “” under Practical Resources  on this website.

-Provide educational opportunities for the congregation on dementia to help remove its stigma.

-Form an International Christian Dementia support group in your church.  Download instructions, a , and from this website.

-Formulate a prayer team to pray for members with dementia and their caregivers.

-Lead a Bible study specifically for dementia patients and/or their caregivers.

-Organize a team of volunteers who will give caregivers a respite break.

-Organize a team to provide meals, housecleaning,  and run errands in times of crisis.

-Music leaders should include some of the classic hymns in worship services in order to better minister to those with dementia, as many do not relate to the modern songs.  See the article on “Music And Dementia” on this website.

 

-Messages:

-Should be simple, faith-filled, and hope-generating.

-Should–in the words of the Apostle Paul– be delivered  “…not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.  (1 Corinthians 1:7) and “…not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power.”

-Can include messages on healing, including God’s healing power in the present and the ultimate healing in eternity.  See the article on “What About Healing” on this website   under “Christian Resources.

-Should be should be addressed to issues pertaining to suffering, difficult circumstances, and trials of faith.

-Offer affirmation of the dementia patients’ gifts and abilities, while noting their limitations.  For example if they are a vocalist, they might be able to sing in a choir even though they can no longer do solos. They might be able to be a teacher’s aide, even though they can no longer teach a class.

-Focus on adaptations the church can make to its campus to better accommodate dementia patients.  For example:

-Handicapped parking.

-Easy access to facilities.

-Simplified direction signs.

-Good lighting.

-Clutter free (which can be distracting to one with dementia).

-No strobe lights during worship.  These can trigger seizures in some dementia patients and in others medical conditions like epilepsy, etc.

-Include people with dementia in the order of worship services as their abilities permit.

An example might be letting them read the call to worship.

-When talking to a dementia patient, always gain their attention first. Then ask only one question or make one request at a time. Multiple questions and requests are difficult for them to process.

-Visit dementia patients in their homes or long-term care facilities.  Always read a scripture and pray for them.  If possible, provide them with internet connection to services and/or audio recordings of services.  See  the article on “Visiting Someone With Dementia” on this website.

-Send greeting cards on special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas.

-Offer to provide transportation to and from a service or an event if the dementia patient is no longer driving.

-Establish a “special friend” program, matching a church member to a dementia patient as a special friend who will welcome them to services, sit with them,  provide any help needed, and occasionally take them to lunch after service.

A simple power-point presentation for churches regarding dementia is available at:

Click on “Resources”.

Select:”Glorious Opportunity Church Power-point.”

 See also:  Graceful Alzheimer’s Care:  Churches’ Call To Action. By Cate McCarty

Amazon, 2015.  A fourteen-week study guide for church and lay leaders exploring the church’s role in providing Christ-like care to individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and other chronic diseases.

Medications for Dementia

Medications for Dementia

STAGES OF DEMENTIA

Dementia is a progressive disease with different stages.  The rate of progression is variable and there is no set length to each stage.  You will find numerous classifications of the stages of the disease online, but for simplicity purposes the Alzheimer’s Association and other medical professionals have divided the progression into three stages.

Early Stage:

-May still be able to function independently.

-Experiences impaired memory, but often tries to cover it up or deny it.

-Increased reliance on memory aids such as lists, notes, calendars.

-Loss of interest in complicated hobbies or chores.

-Needs reminding and prompting.

-Trouble remembering names of new acquaintances.

-Difficulty finding the right word.

-Forgets material they have just read.

-Loses or misplaces valuable objects.

-Increasing trouble with planning or organizing.

Caregiving in the early stage:

As a care partner (a term many choose to use rather than “caregiver,” since a person in the early stage of dementia may not need much assistance), you and the person with dementia have an opportunity:

-To plan for the future, including legal, financial, medical, and long-term care decisions.    -To make decisions regarding available medications, treatments, and clinical trials as well          as advance care directives.

This should be done now while the person with dementia can make proper decisions.

You can also assist by helping them make lists,  maintain calendars, and by writing out instructions of things they may be having problems remembering such as how to adjust the heater or air conditioner.

Label contents of cabinets in the kitchen if they have difficulty remembering where things are.

Very important:  Keep watch on their driving abilities.  In many states in the US, doctors are required to report a dementia diagnosis to the department of motor vehicles and they require retesting.

Middle Stage.

Moderate Alzheimer’s is typically the longest stage and can last for many years. As the disease progresses, the person with dementia will require a greater level of care.  During the middle stage of Alzheimer’s, individuals may experience:

-Greater difficulty performing familiar tasks.

-Increasing confusion of words.

-Frustration, anger, feels of withdrawal and isolation, depression, or acting in unexpected             ways–such as refusing to bathe.

-Increasing forgetfulness–can no longer deny the problem or cover it up.

-Being unable to recall basic information such as their age, birth date, address, telephone   number or the high school or college from which they graduated.

-Confusion about where they are or what day it is.

-Needing assistance to chose proper clothing for the season or the occasion.

-Trouble controlling bladder and bowels in some individuals.

-Changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping during the day and becoming restless at night

-An increased risk of wandering and becoming lost.

-Personality changes, including suspiciousness, delusions, or  repetitive behavior.

-Social withdrawal.

-Repetitive comments or questions.

-Anxiety in new situations or unfamiliar environments.

-Impaired abilities to manage day-to-day life.

-Many repetitive questions (because they don’t remember that they asked and/or the          answer).

Caregiving in the middle stage.

As the abilities of the person with dementia changes, you will need to assume greater responsibilities . Daily routines and structure are important to help them feel secure.  Use a white board to write down the schedule for each day.  Be sure that the patient does not get dehydrated, as they may not remember to drink water.

The patient should definitely not be driving at this stage.  Any weapons in the house should be removed or secured.  You may need to assume bill-paying, banking, and financial functions. Make sure they are taking medications properly.  You may also need to assume meal preparation duties.

If the patient wanders, install alarms on the doors to sound when they are opened. You may also check out the “MedicAlert+Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return” program.  This is a 24 hour nationwide emergency response service for individuals with dementia who wander or have a medical emergency.  Check it out at: https://alz.org.

During this stage you will need to determine what a person can do by themselves, what they can do with assistance, and what they cannot do at all.  This may change on a daily or even hourly basis depending on brain functioning.  Be especially alert to eliminate any activities that are deemed unsafe.

The Alzheimer’s Association offers online workshops that can prepare you for the skills needed to care for someone in this stage of the disease. Sharing information with other caregivers also can be a great source of information and support. Other caregivers truly understand the complex feelings associated with caring for a person with dementia.  (You can do that right on this website!)

 

Late Stage.

-Needs full-time care.

-Cannot live independently.

-Highly impaired.

-Has severe memory loss–no memory or only fragments remaining.

-Develops personality changes/behavior problems.

-Communication impaired.

-Unable to make proper judgments, solve problems, or perform daily tasks.

-Needs help with personal care such as bathing and dressing.

-Experiences changes in physical abilities, including the ability to walk, stand, sit and,       eventually, to swallow.

-Becomes vulnerable to infections, especially pneumonia.

Caregiving in the late stage.

 

At this point in the disease, the caregiver should focus on preserving dignity and quality of life.  Late stage options for quality of life care might include sitting outside on a nice day; taking the patient for a “walk” using a wheelchair; preparing a favorite food; reading books; playing familiar music; watching favorite TV programs or a movie; reading the Bible; praying;  or looking at old photos.

 

Individuals will need round-the-clock assistance with daily activities and personal care.   In many cases, the person will be bedridden and/or need help with all daily functions:  Meals, medications,  bathing, dressing, bathroom, etc.   This is the time to consider assisted living, skilled nursing care, or in-home care.  You will need assistance!

Hospice is another option for late-stage care.  Hospice focuses on quality and dignity of life by providing comfort, care, and support services for people with terminal illnesses and their  families.  In the US, to qualify for hospice benefits under Medicare, a physician must diagnosis the person with Alzheimer’s disease as having less than six months to live.

END OF LIFE

Not all symptoms occur, but most people experience some combination of the following in the final days or hours prior to death.

 

Loss of appetite.  Energy needs decline, which affects appetite.  Decisions should have previously been made regarding tubal feeding which actually does not extend the person’s life in late stage, does not make them more comfortable, and does not reduce the risk of aspiration pneumonia.   Do not force-feed the person, as near the end they may be unable to swallow.  Offer ice chips or sips of water.

 

Excessive weakness, fatigue, and sleep.  The person may sleep the majority of time as their metabolism slows.  Permit them to do so, but assume that everything you say can be heard, as the sense of hearing is thought to persist even when a person is unconscious, in a coma, or otherwise unresponsive.  Focus on keeping the person comfortable.

 

Mental confusion, disorientation, and restlessness.  The person may not be aware of where they are or who is in the room.  They may respond less, respond to people who are not actually in the room, or have hallucinations.  Identify yourself when you approach them, remain calm, speak softly and reassuringly.

 

Labored breathing.  Breathing will become erratic.  Slightly elevating the head and/or use of a vaporizer may help.  Oxygen may also be prescribed for comfort.  Chest congestion may also hinder breathing.

Incontinence.  They may lose control of urinary/bowel functions.  Keep them clean and comfortable.

Other symptoms.  The patient may become cool to touch and/or veins and nails become bluish as circulation shuts down.

Final signs of death:

-No pulse.

-No breathing.

-No response.

-A bowel or bladder release.

-Relaxed muscles.

-Fixed eyes with partially shut eyelids.

Stages of Dementia

Stages of Dementia

STAGES OF DEMENTIA

Dementia is a progressive disease with different stages.  The rate of progression is variable and there is no set length to each stage.  You will find numerous classifications of the stages of the disease online, but for simplicity purposes the Alzheimer’s Association and other medical professionals have divided the progression into three stages.

Early Stage:

-May still be able to function independently.

-Experiences impaired memory, but often tries to cover it up or deny it.

-Increased reliance on memory aids such as lists, notes, calendars.

-Loss of interest in complicated hobbies or chores.

-Needs reminding and prompting.

-Trouble remembering names of new acquaintances.

-Difficulty finding the right word.

-Forgets material they have just read.

-Loses or misplaces valuable objects.

-Increasing trouble with planning or organizing.

Caregiving in the early stage:

As a care partner (a term many choose to use rather than “caregiver,” since a person in the early stage of dementia may not need much assistance), you and the person with dementia have an opportunity:

-To plan for the future, including legal, financial, medical, and long-term care decisions.    -To make decisions regarding available medications, treatments, and clinical trials as well as advance care directives.

This should be done now while the person with dementia can make proper decisions.

You can also assist by helping them make lists,  maintain calendars, and by writing out instructions of things they may be having problems remembering such as how to adjust the heater or air conditioner.

Label contents of cabinets in the kitchen if they have difficulty remembering where things are.

Very important:  Keep watch on their driving abilities.  In many states in the US, doctors are required to report a dementia diagnosis to the department of motor vehicles and they require retesting.

Middle Stage.

Moderate Alzheimer’s is typically the longest stage and can last for many years. As the disease progresses, the person with dementia will require a greater level of care.  During the middle stage of Alzheimer’s, individuals may experience:

-Greater difficulty performing familiar tasks.

-Increasing confusion of words.

-Frustration, anger, feels of withdrawal and isolation, depression, or acting in unexpected ways–such as refusing to bathe.

-Increasing forgetfulness–can no longer deny the problem or cover it up.

-Being unable to recall basic information such as their age, birth date, address, telephone number or the high school or college from which they graduated.

-Confusion about where they are or what day it is.

-Needing assistance to chose proper clothing for the season or the occasion.

-Trouble controlling bladder and bowels in some individuals.

-Changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping during the day and becoming restless at night

-An increased risk of wandering and becoming lost.

-Personality changes, including suspiciousness, delusions, or  repetitive behavior.

-Social withdrawal.

-Repetitive comments or questions.

-Anxiety in new situations or unfamiliar environments.

-Impaired abilities to manage day-to-day life.

-Many repetitive questions (because they don’t remember that they asked and/or the answer).

Caregiving in the middle stage.

As the abilities of the person with dementia changes, you will need to assume greater responsibilities . Daily routines and structure are important to help them feel secure.  Use a white board to write down the schedule for each day.  Be sure that the patient does not get dehydrated, as they may not remember to drink water.

The patient should definitely not be driving at this stage.  Any weapons in the house should be removed or secured.  You may need to assume bill-paying, banking, and financial functions. Make sure they are taking medications properly.  You may also need to assume meal preparation duties.

If the patient wanders, install alarms on the doors to sound when they are opened. You may also check out the “MedicAlert+Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return” program.  This is a 24 hour nationwide emergency response service for individuals with dementia who wander or have a medical emergency.  Check it out at: https://alz.org.

During this stage you will need to determine what a person can do by themselves, what they can do with assistance, and what they cannot do at all.  This may change on a daily or even hourly basis depending on brain functioning.  Be especially alert to eliminate any activities that are deemed unsafe.

The Alzheimer’s Association offers online workshops that can prepare you for the skills needed to care for someone in this stage of the disease. Sharing information with other caregivers also can be a great source of information and support. Other caregivers truly understand the complex feelings associated with caring for a person with dementia.  (You can do that right on this website!)

 Late Stage.

-Needs full-time care.

-Cannot live independently.

-Highly impaired.

-Has severe memory loss–no memory or only fragments remaining.

-Develops personality changes/behavior problems.

-Communication impaired.

-Unable to make proper judgments, solve problems, or perform daily tasks.

-Needs help with personal care such as bathing and dressing.

-Experiences changes in physical abilities, including the ability to walk, stand, sit and,       eventually, to swallow.

-Becomes vulnerable to infections, especially pneumonia.

Caregiving in the late stage.

 At this point in the disease, the caregiver should focus on preserving dignity and quality of life.  Late stage options for quality of life care might include sitting outside on a nice day; taking the patient for a “walk” using a wheelchair; preparing a favorite food; reading books; playing familiar music; watching favorite TV programs or a movie; reading the Bible; praying;  or looking at old photos.

 Individuals will need round-the-clock assistance with daily activities and personal care.   In many cases, the person will be bedridden and/or need help with all daily functions:  Meals, medications,  bathing, dressing, bathroom, etc.   This is the time to consider assisted living, skilled nursing care, or in-home care.  You will need assistance!

Hospice is another option for late-stage care.  Hospice focuses on quality and dignity of life by providing comfort, care, and support services for people with terminal illnesses and their  families.  In the US, to qualify for hospice benefits under Medicare, a physician must diagnosis the person with Alzheimer’s disease as having less than six months to live.

END OF LIFE

Not all symptoms occur, but most people experience some combination of the following in the final days or hours prior to death.

 Loss of appetite.  Energy needs decline, which affects appetite.  Decisions should have previously been made regarding tubal feeding which actually does not extend the person’s life in late stage, does not make them more comfortable, and does not reduce the risk of aspiration pneumonia.   Do not force-feed the person, as near the end they may be unable to swallow.  Offer ice chips or sips of water.

 Excessive weakness, fatigue, and sleep.  The person may sleep the majority of time as their metabolism slows.  Permit them to do so, but assume that everything you say can be heard, as the sense of hearing is thought to persist even when a person is unconscious, in a coma, or otherwise unresponsive.  Focus on keeping the person comfortable.

 Mental confusion, disorientation, and restlessness.  The person may not be aware of where they are or who is in the room.  They may respond less, respond to people who are not actually in the room, or have hallucinations.  Identify yourself when you approach them, remain calm, speak softly and reassuringly.

 Labored breathing.  Breathing will become erratic.  Slightly elevating the head and/or use of a vaporizer may help.  Oxygen may also be prescribed for comfort.  Chest congestion may also hinder breathing.

Incontinence.  They may lose control of urinary/bowel functions.  Keep them clean and comfortable.

Other symptoms.  The patient may become cool to touch and/or veins and nails become bluish as circulation shuts down.

Final signs of death:

-No pulse.

-No breathing.

-No response.

-A bowel or bladder release.

-Relaxed muscles.

-Fixed eyes with partially shut eyelids.